Me Time

I'm one of those moms who never takes time for herself.

I stopped taking long baths because the water is too expensive (don't ask about our water bills.... being on city water is awful where we live).

I stopped wearing makeup because for a long time any makeup was causing awful allergic reactions.
I stopped doing my nails because my hands are always in the dirt in the garden, or in water from cleaning.  Manicures, gardening, and canning do not mix.

As a result, I also stopped taking care of my health.  I started to put on weight, and other weird symptoms started to show up, too.  Hot flashes, given my age, I thought were normal.  But then I realized that I was hot all the time, not just in flashes.  I would sweat, even though I wasn't working particularly hard, or feel that hot.  My heart would race.  Anxiety would literally make me incapacitated.  I looked tired all the time, even after sleeping for twelve hours straight.

I then decided it was time to try to lose some weight.  I started eating a lot healthier, and a lot less.  I walked every night.  I worked harder in the garden.  I bought a pedometer and started tracking my steps.  Even after a month of doing all these things, which normally would send my weight plummeting downward, didn't help.  In fact, I started to gain more weight.

I.  Got.  Scared.

I was seriously scared that there was something seriously wrong with me.  I called my doctor to schedule a regular physical because I hadn't had one in over 3 years.  I started to talk to the nurse about my symptoms, and she told me that I needed to be seen THIS WEEK.  I told her there was really no rush.  She said that I should have been seen at least year ago when the symptoms started.
So, today, I'm going in to see my doctor.  Not for a regular physical, like I thought I needed.  I'm going to have my thyroid and adrenal glands checked.  The regular physical will come later.  But the potential thyroid problems need to be addressed now.

I'm still concerned about what all the test results will show.  I'm concerned that I won't be able to get the help I need.  All the normal concerns.  But I'm taking steps, because even as imperfect as my life is, I need to be in at least better health than I am.  My family needs me, and they need me to take better care of myself.

I'll let you know what the doctors say.  It's now time for me to take care of me.