Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Law of the Land(ows)

I always used to think the expression "If Mommy isn't happy, then nobody is happy" was pretty silly.
Then I became a wife and mother and realized it is nothing but the plain truth.

Not only am I the one to set most of the rules in the house, I'm the one who sets the punishments, too.  There have been a few struggles in our house over things like money and chores over the years, but my family has learned that my ideas are sound, my rules are fair.

My husband and I have had struggles about punishments for the children, stemming from one time when he forbid them to play with their Legos for a weekend.  Since that was their favorite toy, it because a serious bone of contention.  It was winter, very cold and yucky outside, meaning the kids couldn't go outside to play.  I was trapped in the house with two boys, who couldn't play with their favorite toys, and in the end, who really suffered?  It wasn't them.  It was me.  So I told my husband that the new rule was that all punishments had to be okayed by me. There was no point in making me suffer more than the kids were. I was the one who was having to come up with things for them to do.

 Money has also become my domain, and what I say, goes.  If there is a big a purchase we want/need to make, we talk it over, and figure out how to budget it.  If it is just a want, then there is a lot of compromise that has to go on. We learned that from what I refer to as the "XBox 360 Incident".  The XBox became a serious issue for us, because it was bought without any discussion, and caused us some financial issues, that we are still digging out of, over 5 years later.  It wasn't the main thing that caused the issue, but even though it was a fraction of the problem, it didn't help matters.  It was at that time I came up with the rule that all major purchases had to be okayed by me, especially if they were for pleasure, not home improvement.  

We're still learning, because our kids are growing, and circumstances are changing all the time around us, so the rules have to be as fluid as our lives are.  Old rules go away.  New rules come into play.  It's a learning experience for all us, and it is just perfect.  For us.